I wish to roll back 10 years of my Life,
Wish I was intelligent enough to diagnose it,
I wish I’d not be an innocent 14 year old with no exposure to the outside world,
I wish I knew how the world operates,
I wish I could just cling to his lifeless body and cry my heart out,
It has been tough, It still is, 9 years of survival,
Ensuring I signed on all report cards myself since my 9th class with a remark – “Late Mr…..”,
How could I forget?
Each time the class teacher never tried to hand me a report card back home,
I thought it was a perk of being an achiever, being a topper,
Little did I know that that she didn’t want my mom to suffer seeing “Father’s Sign” left empty,
Unknowingly I used to copy his signature, Tried to mock it up,
The class teacher used to give me a smile and told me that I’m a simple being,
I never understood what it meant until I was passed on a scholarship during my graduation,
Whom shall I run to? Holding that scholarship in my hand, Making sure it was bent with the strong opposing wind,
For all of you who told me that it has been 10 years and I should move on,
You will never know how it feels when you are helpless but there’s no one to lift you up,
When there’s no one to tell you how to shave,
When there’s no one to tell you how to ride a bike,
When there’s no one to buy you food and bring it home so that you can devour it,
When there’s no one to sign your report cards,
When there’s no one who teaches you how to manage expenses,
When there’s no one who stops you from buying those expensive wardrobe gimmicks,
When there’s no one to tell you the difference between good and bad,
When there’s no one to hold your mum during her tough times,
When you sleep on your bed, alert!! knowing that the next day would bring you challenges that you have to take it up for family,
When you just want to go out but you realize that there’s no one to buckle you up and show you the world,
It gets tiring, No one understands it,
It gets exhausting, everyone complaints about it,
We humans have turned sympathetic and lifeless,
We ought to be Empathetic and Caring!!
And finally, when you turn back on one fine day,
You don’t even see the footsteps following you anymore, It just vanishes,
This is when you realize that you learned how to ride a bike,
When there’s no one sitting behind you and screaming in your ear to hold the handlebar firmly,
This is when you freeze a teardrop in your eye, this is when you aren’t able to gulp down even a drop of water.
It haunts, It stays, It is there forever.
It’s just that you won’t recognize your parents voice anymore, because it has faded….